Gaslighting
You started checking your memory before you checked the behavior.
Gaslighting is sustained distortion that makes your memory, scale, and interpretation feel less trustworthy than the person causing the confusion.
Truth-adjacency
Truth-independent — the pattern works regardless of whether the claim is true
Department
Covenant of Final Harmony (CFH)
Engine Signals
The engine detects these phrases and patterns:
that didn't happenyou're too sensitiveyou're remembering wrongyou always exaggeratethat's not what I meant How to recognize it
You started checking your memory before you checked the behavior.
What to ask
- Am I keeping records because the facts are disputed, or because my own memory feels unsafe?
- Does the argument keep moving from what happened to whether I can trust myself?
- What would an outside observer see without either of us explaining it?
What it looks like when you’re wrong about it
A normal disagreement where both people remember events differently is not gaslighting. The pattern requires repeated, systematic distortion of your memory or scale.
Misuse Guardrails
How this pattern gets misused
The term gets misused to describe any disagreement, denial, or accusation someone dislikes. Real gaslighting is a sustained pattern that attacks your trust in your own perception.
What it looks like when you're wrong about it
A normal disagreement where both people remember events differently is not gaslighting. The pattern requires repeated, systematic distortion of your memory or scale.
Related Patterns
The name is designed to spread. The hook is designed to stick. If you recognized something, share the name.