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Safety first

If their device or accounts may be monitored, help them reach out from one the other person cannot access, your phone, a friend’s phone, or a library computer. Do not install anything on their device, even something meant to help, without asking them first.

Numbers you can share, or use yourself

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Support tool

Help someone without taking over.

Manipulation often makes a person feel watched, isolated, or unable to trust their own choices. Your job is not to win the argument. It is to help them keep options open.

You are not their exit. You are the door that stays unlocked.

File Ref. HAF-01 · Routing Sheet

What is closest to the situation?

Money pressure often comes with control over contact.

What do you want to do next?

Your next move

  • • Ask what they want help with before offering a solution.
  • • Keep the conversation private and calm.
  • • Offer to sit with them while they contact their bank or platform.

Try saying: “I’m not here to tell you what to do. I just want to understand what’s happening — can you walk me through it?”

Recovery Route — what to do right now →Identity theft and financial fraud guide →

What doesn’t work

Ultimatums.

“It’s them or me” forces a loyalty test they can fail in the wrong direction, and closes the exact door you meant to keep open.

Debating the claim point by point.

Piling on counter-evidence can entrench a belief further. Ask what would change their mind instead of prosecuting a case against it.

Acting on their behalf without asking.

Confronting the controlling person, contacting the group, or removing access to money, devices, or transportation can look like rescue and land as someone else taking control — and can raise their risk in the process.

Going silent until they “wake up.”

Cutting contact to force a reckoning usually removes the one relationship still outside the group’s reach.

Matching their intensity.

Love-bombing them back, or out-arguing a system built for exactly this, rarely outcompetes what is already working on them.

Help

If they’re ready to read for themselves

The full front door: recognizing what happened, verifying claims, and where recovery starts.

Recovery Route

If something specific already happened

A payment, a shared password, a compromised device. Choose the incident, get the first steps.

Safety Guides

Browse every safety guide

Stalking, financial abuse, legal rights, coordinated harassment, and more.