Stalking and Unwanted Contact

The Pattern

← Safety Recovered Archive / Safety Stalking is a pattern of repeated, unwanted attention, contact, and harassment that makes you feel afraid or unsafe. It is not a single event. It is a course of conduct — many small acts that build into a sustained campaign of fear. Stalking often escalates after a survivor leaves. What it is Stalking takes many forms — following you, showing up at your home or workplace, repeated calls and messages, monitoring through technology, threatening friends or family, leaving unwanted gifts, tracking your location. Cyberstalking extends this online: fake accounts, message flooding, monitoring your social media, using mutual contacts to get information about you. Note that stalking and stalkerware often overlap — see the stalkerware guide for the technology layer. How it is used against survivors ▌ Punishment for leaving. The stalker refuses to accept the relationship is over. ▌ Intimidation. Constant presence makes you feel you can never escape. ▌ Isolation. Friends and family are contacted, harassed, or used as informants. ▌ Information gathering. Building a picture of your life to maintain control. ▌ Escalation. Stalking can escalate to physical violence. Warning signs ▌ Repeated unwanted contact: calls, texts, emails, messages across multiple platforms. ▌ Someone showing up where you are — home, work, school, stores — unexpectedly. ▌ Unwanted gifts, letters, or items left at your door. ▌ You sense you are being followed or watched. ▌ Friends or contacts report being approached for information about you. ▌ Your social media activity seems to be monitored — someone references things you only posted privately. ▌ New accounts keep appearing after you block someone. ▌ Damage to your property, pets, or vehicle. What you can do now ▌ Document everything. Keep a stalking log: date, time, location, what happened, witnesses. Save screenshots, voicemails, gifts. This is evidence. ▌ Tell trusted people. Inform your workplace, neighbors, building security, and friends so they can flag suspicious activity and do not share your schedule. ▌ Vary your routines. Change your routes, times, and patterns. Stalkers rely on predictability. ▌ Secure your home. Change locks, add cameras or a doorbell camera, inform building management. ▌ Limit public information. Set social media to private, remove location tags, ask friends not to post about you or tag you. See the data broker removal guide for removing your address from people-search sites. ▌ Block and report. Block new accounts, report to platforms. Do not respond to contact attempts — engagement can escalate. ▌ Consider a protective order. A restraining order or order of protection creates a legal boundary. Violations become arrestable offenses. A domestic violence advocate can help you file. ▌ Contact police for threats. If there are direct threats, property damage, or physical approach, file a report each time. The pattern matters. ▌ Use a safer device for planning. If the stalker may have access to your phone, use a trusted friend’s device or a burner for safety planning. See the stalkerware guide. When to get outside help Stalking is a crime in all US states and many countries. It can escalate to violence. If you are being stalked, a domestic violence advocate or stalking specialist can help you build a safety plan, navigate protective orders, and document effectively. SPARC (Stalking Prevention, Awareness, & Resource Center) trains advocates nationwide — your local domestic violence program can connect you. Browse crisis and legal resources → If you know a resource, law, or tool that should be added here, use contact .